This was sent to me in an email and it really cracked me up so I had to repost it. Enjoy.
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello , and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO : Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT : Mac?
COSTELLO : No, the name's Lou .
ABBOTT : Your computer?
COSTELLO : I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT : Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou .
ABBOTT : What about Windows?
COSTELLO : Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT : Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO : I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT : Wallpaper.
COSTELLO : Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT : Software for Windows?
COSTELLO : No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track
expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT : Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT : I just did.
COSTELLO : You just did what?
ABBOTT : Recommend something.
COSTELLO : You recommended something ?
ABBOTT : Yes.
COSTELLO : For my office?
ABBOTT : Yes.
COSTELLO : OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT : Office.
COSTELLO : Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT : I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO : I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT : Word.
COSTELLO : What word?
ABBOTT : Word in Office.
COSTELLO : The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT : The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO : Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT : The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO : I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What
about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO : That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT : Money.
COSTELLO : I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT : It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO : What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT : Money.
COSTELLO : Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT : Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO : I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT : One copy.
COSTELLO : Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT : Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO : They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT : Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT : Click on 'START'.............
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
American Idol Week 3 - Wrap Up
Amidst rumors of the show being fixed over the last few weeks I begin to wonder if maybe the bottom three are fixed to generate drama. Is it possible that the bottom three are not really the bottom three? Or rather the bottom one and two random contestants that aren't really in the bottom three. Lets take last night for example...do you really want me to believe that Matt Giraud was actually in the bottom two?
Fixed or not at least the right pick went home last night. Nothing against Michael Sarver but his time had come. Kudos to him for his classy departure, no big surprise that the judges didn't use the save...although they had me going at one point when it appeared as though they were sitting on the fence.
All in all the night was pretty uneventful, great performance by Stevie Wonder and Smokey Robinson but naturally the climax was the elimination.
Surprised that Megan didn't have her place in the bottom three but the important thing is the one that was sent home and this week America picked right.
Fixed or not at least the right pick went home last night. Nothing against Michael Sarver but his time had come. Kudos to him for his classy departure, no big surprise that the judges didn't use the save...although they had me going at one point when it appeared as though they were sitting on the fence.
All in all the night was pretty uneventful, great performance by Stevie Wonder and Smokey Robinson but naturally the climax was the elimination.
Surprised that Megan didn't have her place in the bottom three but the important thing is the one that was sent home and this week America picked right.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
American Idol Week 3 - Motown
Well it's Thursday, a day later than normal for my Idol recap but Obama takes precedence.
Last night the cast of American Idol 8 celebrated "50 Years of MoTown" and it is finally starting to sound as thought the Top 10 actually deserve to be in the top 10, with a few obvious exceptions which we'll get to in the recap.
Crooner Matt Giraud kicked off the night with his take on "Let's Get it On", originally sung by Marvin Gaye. Responding to judges feedback he split the song into sections, so to speak. He started on the piano and then took to the stage, and although his stage performance felt a bit awkward the vocals were top notch. If Matt continues performing as he did this week for the next several weeks there is no question he will make the top 5, and possibly even the top 3.
Next up was Kris Allen, my pick for the dark horse of the competition. Kris and his guitar performed their rendition of "How Sweet it Is". The judges and the audience made it very clear that they enjoyed it. Simon advised him that the only thing Kris is missing at the moment is self-confidence. As it stands right now Kris is in my top 3.
Scott MacIntyre performed third with the promise that he would take a few more risks this week. One of those risks was apparently singing "Can't Hurry Love" by Diana Ross and the Supremes. The risk was the fact that he was a male singing a song originally done by a female group, didn't Phil Collins also sing this song? Anyway I like Scott, he's a nice guy with a positive vibe and a nice voice...but I can't see him going a whole lot further on Idol. The only saving grace for Scott might be that he is a bit better than maybe one or two of the other contestants. I predict that if Scott survives this week's elimination he will definitely be in the bottom 3 and will likely sing his swan-song next week. The judges were pretty united on Scott with the exception of Paula who was so upset with Simon, as per usual, that she called him a 6 year old and pulled out a box of crayons and a colouring book.
Is it just me or are the weekly antics between Paula, who loves everyone, and Simon, who pretty much hates everyone, getting a bit old?
Anyway that's a whole different blog....on with the show.
Quirky, but once again healthy, Megan Joy took to the stage next. Megan is likely the most unique contestant American Idol has ever had. Unfortunately for Megan she has had a rough go since making the top 14, with the exception of last week. This week she takes on "For Once In My Life". Unfortunately for Megan the performance was not great. The song did not have the usual Megan flavor that we have come to enjoy. Randy called the performance a "train wreck" and Simon believed that she "could be in serious trouble". The silver lining for Megan, I think, is that there are still contestants on the show struggling more than her. Watch for Megan in the bottom 3 again this week but I don't expect America to send her packing just yet.
Anoop took on Smokey Robinson classic "Ooh Baby Baby" to show a softer side of the dawg. The vocals were top notch and the judges and fans loved it. In the end I have to agree with Simon's comment that he did a "great vocal" but appeared bored. For me it was the lack of showmanship that Simon was talking about that made the performance kind of boring as a whole. Don't get me wrong I like Anoop and think he has a lot of talent but I don't expect him to last much beyond the top 5.
Taking the sixth spot was Michael Sarver, America's favorite oil rigger (ok I made that up but they did save him in favor of Alexis last week something I am still trying to understand) This week he takes on MoTown with "Ain't to Proud To Beg". Michael must have been a bit too close to Megan last week because he ended up missing the class trip to Motown because he was sick. After his performance last night I think he might want to cancel any plans to go there in the near future. Michael is a nice guy, he has a nice voice that I'm sure he uses to serenade his wife and sing in the shower. So do I, but unlike Michael I will never attempt to go on American Idol. Maybe after last night America will realize that Michael should go home. I would be shocked if Michael isn't part of the bottom three this week.
Fourth from the end is Lil Rounds. You'd think that an African American diva would be center stage during MoTown week, especially when you're the only one left on the show. So how did she fare when she took on "Heatwave" by Martha Reeves and The Vandellas? Well Randy called the beginning of the song "torture" and said it "was not the best performance". Personally I think Lil is a good singer, not a great. Should she be in the top 10? Yes. Should she win? No. I predict that Lil will likely survive until at the very least the top 5, maybe even the top 4 with a few strong weeks. But she was in the bottom three last week so who knows, America will pick whomever they want. I would imagine that when the time does come for Lil she will take the judges save.
Always edgy, controversial and current front runner Adam Lambert took to the stage eighth overall. After his extremely controversial take on Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire last week a much more polished (or should I say unpolished due to his lack of nail polish) Adam presented himself with his take on another Smokey Robinson classic "Tracks of My Tears". Now to be honest I didn't start out as an Adam Lambert fan but after the last few weeks I must say he is growing on me. No question Adam has been topping himself week after week and most certainly has a spot reserved in the top 3 as it stands right now. It's worth noting that after his performance Smokey Robinson himself gave Adam a standing ovation, if that isn't a compliment I don't know what is.
Second last is another one of the front running candidates, Danny Gokey. Danny has been one of my favorites since the beginning but to be honest after seeing his lack of effort during his country week rehersal last week with Randy Travis my level of respect for him has dropped a bit. This week his Motown take was "Get Ready". The song was good but to be honest the performance didn't wow me. I actually had to rewatch it just now to refresh my memory. Danny has had a few rough weeks now and although he isn't in any jeopardy this week if he doesn't pick it up soon he will find himself in the bottom three before long. As of now Danny makes up my Top 3 but that could change.
Last but not least is my wirdcard. Young Allison Iraheta. Allison has blown the roof off the Idol studio with most of her last performances yet she still isn't considered a front runner. Peforming "Papa was a Rollin' Stone" by the Temptations she, once again, did not disappoint. Allison could be the one that comes up from behind and knocks the boys out of the running and takes the Idol crown, she has some work to do but I think that she is the strongest female contestant this year. I'm expecting great things over the next few weeks, definately a potential candidate for the Top 3.
So tonight is elimination night. Who will go? Who will stay? Once again tonight I'm going to pick Michael Sarver but can't rule out the chance that Scott MacIntyre will be voted out. Either way my bottom three is Michael, Scott and Megan and no save will be used tonight.
Video links courtesy of www.Rickey.org
Last night the cast of American Idol 8 celebrated "50 Years of MoTown" and it is finally starting to sound as thought the Top 10 actually deserve to be in the top 10, with a few obvious exceptions which we'll get to in the recap.
Crooner Matt Giraud kicked off the night with his take on "Let's Get it On", originally sung by Marvin Gaye. Responding to judges feedback he split the song into sections, so to speak. He started on the piano and then took to the stage, and although his stage performance felt a bit awkward the vocals were top notch. If Matt continues performing as he did this week for the next several weeks there is no question he will make the top 5, and possibly even the top 3.
Next up was Kris Allen, my pick for the dark horse of the competition. Kris and his guitar performed their rendition of "How Sweet it Is". The judges and the audience made it very clear that they enjoyed it. Simon advised him that the only thing Kris is missing at the moment is self-confidence. As it stands right now Kris is in my top 3.
Scott MacIntyre performed third with the promise that he would take a few more risks this week. One of those risks was apparently singing "Can't Hurry Love" by Diana Ross and the Supremes. The risk was the fact that he was a male singing a song originally done by a female group, didn't Phil Collins also sing this song? Anyway I like Scott, he's a nice guy with a positive vibe and a nice voice...but I can't see him going a whole lot further on Idol. The only saving grace for Scott might be that he is a bit better than maybe one or two of the other contestants. I predict that if Scott survives this week's elimination he will definitely be in the bottom 3 and will likely sing his swan-song next week. The judges were pretty united on Scott with the exception of Paula who was so upset with Simon, as per usual, that she called him a 6 year old and pulled out a box of crayons and a colouring book.
Is it just me or are the weekly antics between Paula, who loves everyone, and Simon, who pretty much hates everyone, getting a bit old?
Anyway that's a whole different blog....on with the show.
Quirky, but once again healthy, Megan Joy took to the stage next. Megan is likely the most unique contestant American Idol has ever had. Unfortunately for Megan she has had a rough go since making the top 14, with the exception of last week. This week she takes on "For Once In My Life". Unfortunately for Megan the performance was not great. The song did not have the usual Megan flavor that we have come to enjoy. Randy called the performance a "train wreck" and Simon believed that she "could be in serious trouble". The silver lining for Megan, I think, is that there are still contestants on the show struggling more than her. Watch for Megan in the bottom 3 again this week but I don't expect America to send her packing just yet.
Anoop took on Smokey Robinson classic "Ooh Baby Baby" to show a softer side of the dawg. The vocals were top notch and the judges and fans loved it. In the end I have to agree with Simon's comment that he did a "great vocal" but appeared bored. For me it was the lack of showmanship that Simon was talking about that made the performance kind of boring as a whole. Don't get me wrong I like Anoop and think he has a lot of talent but I don't expect him to last much beyond the top 5.
Taking the sixth spot was Michael Sarver, America's favorite oil rigger (ok I made that up but they did save him in favor of Alexis last week something I am still trying to understand) This week he takes on MoTown with "Ain't to Proud To Beg". Michael must have been a bit too close to Megan last week because he ended up missing the class trip to Motown because he was sick. After his performance last night I think he might want to cancel any plans to go there in the near future. Michael is a nice guy, he has a nice voice that I'm sure he uses to serenade his wife and sing in the shower. So do I, but unlike Michael I will never attempt to go on American Idol. Maybe after last night America will realize that Michael should go home. I would be shocked if Michael isn't part of the bottom three this week.
Fourth from the end is Lil Rounds. You'd think that an African American diva would be center stage during MoTown week, especially when you're the only one left on the show. So how did she fare when she took on "Heatwave" by Martha Reeves and The Vandellas? Well Randy called the beginning of the song "torture" and said it "was not the best performance". Personally I think Lil is a good singer, not a great. Should she be in the top 10? Yes. Should she win? No. I predict that Lil will likely survive until at the very least the top 5, maybe even the top 4 with a few strong weeks. But she was in the bottom three last week so who knows, America will pick whomever they want. I would imagine that when the time does come for Lil she will take the judges save.
Always edgy, controversial and current front runner Adam Lambert took to the stage eighth overall. After his extremely controversial take on Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire last week a much more polished (or should I say unpolished due to his lack of nail polish) Adam presented himself with his take on another Smokey Robinson classic "Tracks of My Tears". Now to be honest I didn't start out as an Adam Lambert fan but after the last few weeks I must say he is growing on me. No question Adam has been topping himself week after week and most certainly has a spot reserved in the top 3 as it stands right now. It's worth noting that after his performance Smokey Robinson himself gave Adam a standing ovation, if that isn't a compliment I don't know what is.
Second last is another one of the front running candidates, Danny Gokey. Danny has been one of my favorites since the beginning but to be honest after seeing his lack of effort during his country week rehersal last week with Randy Travis my level of respect for him has dropped a bit. This week his Motown take was "Get Ready". The song was good but to be honest the performance didn't wow me. I actually had to rewatch it just now to refresh my memory. Danny has had a few rough weeks now and although he isn't in any jeopardy this week if he doesn't pick it up soon he will find himself in the bottom three before long. As of now Danny makes up my Top 3 but that could change.
Last but not least is my wirdcard. Young Allison Iraheta. Allison has blown the roof off the Idol studio with most of her last performances yet she still isn't considered a front runner. Peforming "Papa was a Rollin' Stone" by the Temptations she, once again, did not disappoint. Allison could be the one that comes up from behind and knocks the boys out of the running and takes the Idol crown, she has some work to do but I think that she is the strongest female contestant this year. I'm expecting great things over the next few weeks, definately a potential candidate for the Top 3.
So tonight is elimination night. Who will go? Who will stay? Once again tonight I'm going to pick Michael Sarver but can't rule out the chance that Scott MacIntyre will be voted out. Either way my bottom three is Michael, Scott and Megan and no save will be used tonight.
Video links courtesy of www.Rickey.org
Thursday, March 19, 2009
American Idol Week 2 - Wrap Up
So today, with much regret, we say goodbye to sweet (ok well not so sweet, but we liked her anyway) Alexis Grace.
Last night's show proved to me why the new "judges save" doesn't work, or won't work, and here's why.
So last night we get our first hint that the save might be used. Ryan announces that America has decided to save Michael Sarver sending poor Alexis packing, he stands her in front of the four judges only to have Simon tell her that she was being considered for the save. I'm thinking ok cool so next week America can get it right and vote of two people, I can live with that. But no...instead they make the poor kid, yes I know she is 21 but to me that's a kid, sing for it. Does anyone even expect that this performance is going to be any better than the original that pretty much got her voted off? Well it wasn't. If anything it was much worse. After the song was done Simon broke the news that they weren't going to use the save based on that performance because it just wasn't good enough....come on judges...lets be serious here....why not base it on all of Alexis' performances and not just this one week. Remember when you used to like this girl?
Oh well I guess that's democracy in action...all last night did was reinforce my thoughts that this new save is utterly ridiculous and a total waste of time. The show is called American Idol not American Idol, unless the judges disagree.
But those are just my thoughts. Next week is Motown week so I expect Lil and Allison to do very well. As of right now my top 3 are Kris Allen, Allison Iraheta and Matt Giraud lets see if that changes next week.
Last night's show proved to me why the new "judges save" doesn't work, or won't work, and here's why.
So last night we get our first hint that the save might be used. Ryan announces that America has decided to save Michael Sarver sending poor Alexis packing, he stands her in front of the four judges only to have Simon tell her that she was being considered for the save. I'm thinking ok cool so next week America can get it right and vote of two people, I can live with that. But no...instead they make the poor kid, yes I know she is 21 but to me that's a kid, sing for it. Does anyone even expect that this performance is going to be any better than the original that pretty much got her voted off? Well it wasn't. If anything it was much worse. After the song was done Simon broke the news that they weren't going to use the save based on that performance because it just wasn't good enough....come on judges...lets be serious here....why not base it on all of Alexis' performances and not just this one week. Remember when you used to like this girl?
Oh well I guess that's democracy in action...all last night did was reinforce my thoughts that this new save is utterly ridiculous and a total waste of time. The show is called American Idol not American Idol, unless the judges disagree.
But those are just my thoughts. Next week is Motown week so I expect Lil and Allison to do very well. As of right now my top 3 are Kris Allen, Allison Iraheta and Matt Giraud lets see if that changes next week.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
American Idol Week 2 - Grand Ole Oprey
I haven't been much of a blogger of late but this season of American Idol is definitely one worth writing about.
The season started out the same as the previous seven with Simon and the other 3 musketeers auditioning the seemingly endless "bad" talent that exists in America, and always seem to be surprised when they get rejected.
Once things got serious things were narrowed down to a group of 36 and then we went through several brutal weeks that left me wondering what happened to the talent the judges picked.
Anyway enough rambling about the disastrous start to Idol 8 lets get on with this week, particularly last night, Country Music Night. After the majority of the Idols tripped, badly, over the first two weeks I dreaded Country week, after all nothing sounds worse than country music sung badly.
Ok so here is my breakdown of the top 11 and my thoughts on what they had to offer:
The season started out the same as the previous seven with Simon and the other 3 musketeers auditioning the seemingly endless "bad" talent that exists in America, and always seem to be surprised when they get rejected.
Once things got serious things were narrowed down to a group of 36 and then we went through several brutal weeks that left me wondering what happened to the talent the judges picked.
Anyway enough rambling about the disastrous start to Idol 8 lets get on with this week, particularly last night, Country Music Night. After the majority of the Idols tripped, badly, over the first two weeks I dreaded Country week, after all nothing sounds worse than country music sung badly.
Ok so here is my breakdown of the top 11 and my thoughts on what they had to offer:
- Lets start with every one's favorite Texan, Michael Sarver.
I'm thinking, ok, he's from Texas so hopefully I should finally see what the judges are seeing in him. So he is singing Garth Brooks Ain't Going Down 'Till the Sun Comes Up, this has to be the hardest Garth song I know. It is lyrically overloaded and a very fast tempo not something for the faint of heart. On the positive side of things Michael remembered all of the words. On the negative side it sounded like he was running a marathon while he was singing. His breathing was all over the place and he was panting like a dog that had gone a day without water. Definitely not his best performance to date. - Next up was Lil, or little as Simon calls her. I'm still undecided about Lil, generally R&B singers don't do well outside of their genre. Lil picked the powerful, Independence Day by Marina McBride. I was surprise by this, especially when it seemed almost obvious that she would sing Dolly Parton's I Will Always Love You or a similar country song that has been turned into an R&B classic. The judges weren't so fond of her performance but all in all I'd give it a thumbs up, my favorite from Lil to date.
- Next came little Allison with the big rockin' voice....she sang Blame It On Your Heart by Patty Loveless. I'm a fan of Allison's and although this wasn't her best to date she did ok, she's a gritty rocker girl and she'll be back in her element once the country is left behind.
- Fourth was Megan, ah yes Megan. The mom with the cool sleeve tattoo on her arm. Meg has a unique sound, and dance, that I haven't decided if I hate or love yet. Once again Meg goes vintage with Walkin' After Midnight by Patsy Cline. I think she did really well with it, the dance was still there and she needs to work on her stage presence a bit but all in all it was a good performance, and then we find out that the poor girl was deathly ill with a flu the whole time. All I can say is if that is Meg with the flu I can't wait to see what she can do when she is healthy.
- Matt G. was fifth and was the first to take a bite out of Carrie Underwood's music with So Small. Matt is a crooner and this was easy for him and he showed quickly that he will do well with this type of music. No doubt he was among the better performers of the evening.
- Sixth was the leading favorite Danny Gokey. He must have been having a bad night because first his session with Randy Travis was a joke, very disrespectful. His performance of Jesus Take The Wheel was good but not spectacular. Danny is popular enough that he should be around for a bit but hopefully he starts to take this more seriously.
- Little Alexis took on Dolly's classic story about Jolene. The performance and vocal were very good but I agree with the judges it was missing the grit and edge that we are used to seeing from Alexis. I strongly believe that she will be back next week.
- Scott MacIntyre and his piano took the stage eighth with what some might have called a risk. Singing Martina McBride's Wild Angels. Even Randy Travis was a bit nervous about the pick. Now I'll say I like Scott, he's a nice guy with a boat load of talent. Should he have made it this far in American Idol? Maybe not, but it's hard to say. Will he be crowned the Idol, I doubt it but you never know. As for last night he got out there and turned a few critics believers. Scott saved himself a spot in the top 10 with his performance.
- Anoop Doggy Dog was up next. The last few weeks this poor kid must have been starting to feel like a dead man walking and I believe that if he didn't do something spectacular this week he would be the one to go home. Anoop didn't disappoint. He came out with Always on My Mind and lifted the roof off the house. Definitely one of the top performers of the evening.
- Kris Allen has been the least talked about Idol to date but he has always been one of my favorites. In my opinion Kris is the only Idol that has yet to have a bad week and this week didn't disappoint. Taking on the Garth Brooks cover of the Billy Joel cover of the Bob Dylan song To Make You Feel My Love, he knocked it out of the park. Kris is one of my picks for the top 3.
- Lastly but most controversially we have the ever adored Adam Lambert. Ah yes the blue haired goth prince with the voice that....you get the idea. So it's country week and Adam is definately not country material. So he picks Johnny Cash, ok good choice. Ring of Fire, ok I see the connection, Goth, fire. Well it has been the most talked about performance of the season hands down. You either loved it or you hated it. Me? I loved it. It was unique and original and definately the performance of the night.
My pick for tonight's vicitm, so to speak is going to have to be Michael Sarver. Nice guy but just doesn't have what it takes to perform at the level of the other 10.
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